We Will Have to Forgive One Another After Election Day, and Then Do Better

There are some unhealthy reasons and some legitimate reasons why our hopes and fears are tied up in today's result. The key is how we respond.

I have been quiet of late. Other than posting the weekly news roundups, I have not been writing anything else. Partly this is because my book for October turned out to be quite boring, and I've drifted off to other books. The book was Lincoln at Gettysburg: The Words that Remade America. I'm sure the book has some great qualities. The first pages were decent. But Chapter 3 bogged down and so instead of getting up early to do that I've been sleeping a little later some days, and when I do get up early, it's to stretch and do things around the house. It turns out that when your job no longer requires you to write all the time, sometimes it's nice to take a break.

I've been trying to follow my own advice and not obsess over the news. Mostly I've succeeded, other than a few moments during the last week or so when I've scrolled for too long. I read a quote yesterday that captures some of why I think it's important to keep politics at an arm's length: to be informed, but not obsessed, and to spend our time doing other things, creative things, relational things, restful things.

"It’s a grim irony that many people thus mesmerized by the news feel themselves to be fighting for democracy’s survival, when the total colonization of inner life by politics is a traditional hallmark of totalitarianism." - Oliver Burkeman

That phrase, "mesmerized by the news" connects to the Sam Harris quote in last week's roundup where he describes many Americans as "spectators who watch reality as though it were the first act of a movie which we hope is going to be good."

One thing that did register for me was a video sent to me by Rabbi Michael Holzman, who leads the Northern Virginia Hebrew Congregation. It's a message from more than a dozen religious leaders in Northern Virginia, emphasizing the common strands between the three great Abrahamic faiths: recognizing the image of God in others, resolving differences peacefully, etc.

One leader says that after the election is decided, half the country will have to forgive the other half. He was thinking of the losing side who will need to forgive. But really it will be many of us who need to forgive others who voted differently than us.

National politics has gone far too deeply into our identities and psyches. That's a reason why our politics has become too tribal, and has colonized our inner lives in an unhealthy way.

On the other hand, politics does matter, because it does hold the power of life and death and it impacts lives in real and tangible ways. Our vote today or in previous days leading up to today is of the utmost gravity.

So there are both some unhealthy reasons and some legitimate reasons why our hopes and fears are tied up in today's result. And it's why we will all probably need to do some work to forgive others who have voted differently. If that's not you, then either you are remarkably well adjusted or you may not be taking this seriously enough.

And then we will need to get on with the business of doing more in our local communities, I think. That's where we make the most impact.

We will need to do better in the coming days than we have over the past decade, both at focusing on what matters and on working with others across differences. Unity, as Yuval Levin told me this year, is peace, but not quiet.

Some good news, to me, is that I've seen so much progress in the people I know and in myself to try to learn lessons from the past years. I've seen much more forbearance and graciousness between people who are voting differently. I've seen a determination to preserve relationship and to avoid political talk to do so. I've seen a general attitude that while we might care really deeply about our political choices and views, we don't want to shove in the face of our neighbor who thinks differently. That's progress from four years ago.

Let's build on that progress by really digging in to what our local communities really and tangibly need. Let's do what we can there.

And let's get this election over with so we can get on to that work.